And this....
...that eventually led us to purchase a time share and return again and again!
Our favorite place to snorkel is at milepost 14 on highway 30 between Lahain and Ma'alea. We're familiar enough with the general vicinity that we know where to go, but otherwise you 
need to find the famous sign (see left). From this view going south, the ocean is on the right. Being blind as a bat, I get to rent a prescription mask and open the doors to another world. I love to swim, and by gently moving along you can cruise much farther out into the ocean than you would think, the slope is very gentle here. It's awesome to cruise through coral lined canyons and then be still as scores of beautiful fish come to you. Sherry is not much of a water wahine, she's more of a beach babe. She had brought along a floatie (i.e. air mattress) and had a wonderful time floating around as I snorkeled. After we came in, she walked away from the floatie and a gust of wind snatched it up and instantly hurled it about 30 feet away in the water. I grabbed my mask, snorkel and flippers and headed into the water just to see another gust fling it another 20 or 30 feet. I was vacillating a little and then started to go in, but I realized that at sea level I could not pick out the mattress at all and we wrote it off. Looking at the tradewind and current charts, we believe it is near baja California by now!
Hanging out at the pool is one of our favorite activities. It's nice to go to the beach in the morning when it is calm, and then when the sun warms up the land and the air starts rising and hits the tradewinds the afternoon blows start. That's when it is good to come in and have an iced mocha and hit the pool.
Now, as referenced above my vision is, shall we say; problematic. The problem was that my prescription sunglasses are for distance only, and so when I read at the pool I was constantly trying to find an eye-comfortable position to hold my book to no avail. I realized I just needed some inexpensive sunglasses with no correction. Anything in the distance would be a blur but it should be just right for reading up close. Because all of life's answers can be found in Rock Music I realized it was just as ZZ Top told us:
When you get up in the morning and the light has hurt your head, the first thing you do when you get up out of bed is hit that streets a-runnin and try to beat the masses, and go get yourself some cheap sunglasses Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah
Yeah, yeah yeah - so off I went to the little pool hut, where all your pool and beach needs could be rented or purchased and even charged to your room! Explaining my need for low buck bespectacled bliss, the helpful attendent handed me a pair and said "these are 2.50". Not bad! I replied that I might be inclined to spend a tad more. "Sure, no problem - these are 3.15" Wow, they were sharp looking and filtered the UV like dust through a Hoover. Suddenly, I had this bad feeling - indeed, the cheap ones were $250.00! The upgraded pair was THREE HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN DOLLARS! For sunglasses! Forget Maui Jim and get me to the ABC Store!
My ABC CTS (Cheap Tourist Sunglasses) served me well. At one point I'm hanging out under a palm tree reading a book when in my peripheral vision I see (although not clearly) what appeared to be an attractive woman approaching me. She got closer and said in a perky voice "hi"! I put on my Joey voice and replied "how you doin?". Her scowl revealed both her distaste of middle age men that look more than a little like Tom Cruse, but also the fact that indeed she was talking on her cell phone! I pretended to not be there.
My favorite souvenier shop on Maui is a t-shirt store called Tropix on Front Street in Lahaina. It is so 'hip' and 'cool' that it doesn't have a website. As I purchased my shirt, I mentioned to the pierced, streaked and tattooed cashier that I love the store. When she asked why, I replied that "it's better than botox - when I come in here and get a shirt it takes 20 years off of my life - I go from an oveweight, stressed out grey haired desk jockey to a blond 19 year old surfer dude". She thought that was hysterical, but I still didn't get a senior citizen discount!
Fun in elevators
One day, leaving our room and heading down to the pool; I noticed an unmarked door that was open, and peeking in I spotted a service elevator. Cool, a way to avoid the stopping-on-every-floor-and-jamming-in-with-all-the-other-sweaty-tourists regular elevators! I ducked in, pushed LL for lower lobby (where access to the pool can be found) and down I went - 8th floor to LL without one stop and no one else in the elevator! Well, when the door opened I was truly and utterly confused. I looked out into the kitchen where the resort head chef was looking back at me - picture the scene, here's a working area where the unseen operations of a huge island resort take place out of view of most people, and Dave Mundt with his shades and flip flops steps out of the elevator and states "hey, I'm a little lost". The chef lost it! He almost tossed his salad (clever chef joke) as he burst out laughing. Then I started laughing. How fun! The next day I played the same trick, but dragged Sherry and our friends Dan and Kathy along - a veritable vertical pool parade emerged from the elevator doors again - we had the staff laughing so hard as we played dumb (not too hard for me) and wandered through the kitchen on our way to the pool.
Sherry and I also have a custom of kissing in elevators. We're not superstitious by any means, but should the cable break and we plunge to a shattering and violent death; it's nice to know that that was our last act in time before we enter eternity. It was fun to keep a straight face and in a deadpan delivery inform the elevator occupants of our custom and ask if they would be offended if we kissed. It was a blast to watch their reactions! One night after returning from dinner we shared the elevator with a bunch of older, inebriated, retired, luau partygoers. I made my usual announcement, and the next thing I know Sherry and I were in a group hug where everyone was kissing their respective spouse! I think one guy actually planted one on my cheeck on accident before he found his wife, but I try not to dwell on it.
Anyway, that's just a few of our precious Maui memories!
