Well, the coffee isn't all that great. A few months ago we had a few new employees join our happy family, and they lamented how bad the coffee was. In mock seriousness I said "yeah, I had to stop drinking it because it was making my eyes bleed". They were incredulous! I elaborated that apparently the coffee had sufficient blood thinning qualities that if I yawned and my eyes watered up, the tears contained trace elements of blood. They were aghast. I started laughing. They no longer talk to me (not really!).
I'm trying to cut down on bad calories, specifically when they attach themselves to chocolate. I'm a simple guy, so I use the Rule of the Circle. It goes like this - inside the circle are items that I can justify such as chocolate powerbars or goo, chocolate in a mocha, maybe even Count Chocula in a pinch. My arguments may be weak but they work for me. Outside the circle are clear violators such as cake, cookies, candy. So I really try not to partake in the birthday celebrations (they buy some awesome cakes).
And further, due to the medication I'm taking I can't consume alcohol! Yup, they will bring in all of these microbrews that I used to truly enjoy sampling - lagers and ales oh my! I stand weeping and sometimes guzzle one of those nasty non-alcoholic beers with bloody tears streaming down my face.
Well, recently there was some corporate "decisions" made about our soda fountains. Apparently sufficient justification was made that removing the fountains and replacing with soda machines would save money. Some of us think it's just a plot to begin the long slide down toward purchasing our own drinks, as the machines now dispense a can at the press of a button but that little slot to put you dollar in forcing us to pay beckons a revenue stream like a CEO on stock options. But for now it's free. We used to have water dispensed by the fountain, and many of us made frequent use of this healthy opportunity. When the machines came in, one of the selections was water. Cool! I think management envisioned us becoming young, healthy, carefree and dedicated with an image like this in their minds:
What really happened though is that we ended up looking like this:
Well, even though we had water it dispensed these ridicuously tiny little bottles of water (I think they were 6 ounces). Seriously, hamsters typically have more water in their little watering devices. So, we would push the button 4-5 times and carry all these tiny bottles back to our desk. That lasted one day. Then, no water! We were up in arms, but were told that the tap water was filtered exactly the same as the water that came out of the fountain, so we can drink tap water. Mutiny almost occurred, but eventually we were wore down.
Well, one day as I went into the break room there were 3-4 of our QA (Quality Assurance) engineers standing around the machine. On top of the machine were several cans of different brands of soda. I started laughing and asked them if they were running test cases - pushing the button and seeing if the can that was returned met the 'specification' that the button provided. We all got a good chuckle and then I asked if they were actually opening the cans to ensure that not only the proper can was returned but the liquid inside matched the can that matched the button. Even more laughter ensued when when of the engineers responded that what's inside the can is the responsibility of product engineering, not QA!
We all shared a hearty laugh and then filled up our plastic bottles from the tap.
