You know your'e addicted to cycling when...

Thanks to Patty who passed this along! I still crack up everytime I read #1.

1. Your surgeon tells you that you need a heart valve replacement and you ask if you have a choice between presta and schrader.
2. Numbers aren't a lewd measurement reference to the latest hottie, but to that new gear ratio you were considering for your bike.
3. A Power Bar starts tasting better than a Snickers.
4. You wear your heart monitor to bed to make sure you stay within your target zones during any extracurricular activities.
5. The funeral director tells you "NO! You can't ride your Colnago in the funeral procession", even if you agree to keep your headlight on.
6. You experience an unreasonable envy over someone who has a handlebar stem, that's lower and longer than yours.
7. You're too tired for hanky-panky on a Friday night but are more than able to jump out for a five-hour century on Saturday.
8. Your spouse tells you the only way they'll let you ride across the country is over their dead body, so you tell them, "If that's the way you want it, you can be my first speed bump!"
9. You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose.
10. You have stopped even trying to explain to your spouse why you need two bikes...you just go buy another one and figure it will all work out in the divorce settlement.
11. You convert your car's brake and gas pedals to clipless.
12. You see nothing wrong with discussing the connection between hydration and urine color.
13. You find your SIDI cycling shoes to be more comfortable and stylish than your best pair of sneakers.
14. You have more money invested in your bike clothes than in the rest of your entire wardrobe.
15. 'Biker Chick' means: skimpy black lycra...Not, skimpy black leather (on a Harley.)
16. You see a fit, tanned, Lycra-clad young woman ride by, and the first thing you check out is her bicycle.
17. You empathize with the road kill.
18. Despite all that winter fat you put on, you'll cut weight first by buying the latest carbon and titanium components.
19. Your mud guards are made out of milk jugs (or water bottles.)
20. You yell "Hole!" and reach out the window to 'point down' when you see a pothole when driving your car.
21. Your bike has more miles on its computer, then your car has on it's odometer.
22. You wear your favorite team's riding gloves when driving your car.
23. You wear your bike shorts as underwear...'just in case' someone invites you out on a last minute ride.
24. You wear Cycle Oregon and Tour De Lance T-shirts all the time, including under dress shirts.
25. You buy a mini-van and immediately remove the rear seats to make room for your bikes to fit.
26. When you move to a new area the first thing you look for is a bike shop.
27. You have more bike jerseys than dress shirts.
28. You take your bike along when you shop for a car -just to make sure the bike will fit inside.
29. You use the Yakima or Thule 'Fit Catalog' to pick your next new car (instead of Consumer Reports.)
30. You start yelling at cars to "Hold your line!"
31. You view crashes as an opportunity to upgrade components and wardrobe.
32. You clean your bike(s) more often then your car.
33. You're on the Board of Directors for a Bike Club.
34. You and your significant other have and wear identical riding clothes.
35. You mount a $600 topper on a $1,000 pickup truck so your $3,000 bike doesn't get wet.
36. You can't seem to get to work by 8:30 AM, even for important meetings, but you don't have any problems at all meeting your buddies at 5:30 AM for a hammerfest.
37. You can tell your spouse, with a straight face, that it'll be too hot tomorrow to mow the lawn...but then get up first thing and bike off for a century.
38. You regard inter-gender discussion of genital discomfort as normal.
39. You know your cadence, but you have no idea what your speed is.
40. When driving your car, you sometime like to lean over the steering wheel, just like an aerobar.
41. Your car(s) sit(s) outside your garage because your garage is full of bikes and spare cycling parts.
42. You like to tailgate semi-trailers to get the drafting effect.
43. The Bike Nashbar customer order number is on your speed dial.
44. You hear someone had a crash and your first question is: "How's the bike?"
45. You smile at your evening date, and she politely points out that you appear to have bugs in your teeth.
46. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends who are addicted to cycling like you.