oh - how low have I sunk?!? I join Paul in exclaiming "wretched man that I am! Who will save me from this body of death" .
Well, I came across an interesting blog entry the other day about American Idol. In it, Paul Walker discusses how Paula is the gospel and grace where Simon is the law. To quote Paul:
Life is this constant tension between Simon and Paula. One minute you are judged and destroyed by the law by some standard you can’t live up to. It could be academics, it could be body image, it could be the funny guy wit factor, it could be your father, it could be your inner voice that constantly accuses you of not having done enough, been enough, planned enough, prayed enough, been good enough – “You are an absolute nightmare”
As I reflect on the show, one of the reasons I do watch it is that I enjoy Simon. Yeah, he can be harsh and condescending - but most of the time, he's right! He lends a dose of reality to Randy and Paula's reluctance to smack down someone who truly does not belong on the stage (I love to sing to the radio, and once asked our worship director at church if he needs any backup singers. He said, "well Dave, I could use you as a tenor". My heart leapt at that, but then plummeted as he went on to say "about ten or fifteen miles from here" ). Sigh.
Well, one day running on a treadmill with my mind free to roam, I imagined this scene with John Calvin and Jacob Arminuis being the final two contestants:
Ryan Seacrest: well it's been a tough road to Hollywood. We heard from the likes of Finney, Augustine, Kung, Edwards, but all were eliminated leaving just two left - John Calvin and Jacob Arminius. Let's give them a warm welcome!
Calvin sings (just can't) Shake Your Love, by Debbie Gibson. In accordance with his position on eternal security and that salvation cannot be lost, he finishes the song with a smoldering look into the camera as he sings the final refrain - just can't shake, your love! Ryan takes the stage, hugs John and says something corny like "Wow, now that was some artitistic Calvinistic music-mystic doctrinistic! John hugs him back. Why did you pick that song, John?" Calvin replies "well you know Ryan that once we're saved, we are always saved - it just seemed like the perfect chorus that no matter what we do, we can't shake God's love". Terrific, says Ryan; and now let's go to the judges:
- Randy: dawg, now that was awesome. I mean, the love of God that cannot be shaken by anything, even the free will of man; man - you got it going on.
- Paula: you know John, I've loved you ever since the beginning of this competition. I'll always be one of your biggest fans.
- Simon: that was, was..deplorable. Now look John, you can hear that same sermon being preached all over America, you need some originality to separate yourself from all the other theological wannabees. You just don't have that X factor (Randy and Paula booing).
Ryan makes a snide remark about Simon, and then Jacob steps up to the microphone. The music starts and he begins to sing Fleetwood Mac's hit song Save Me. "Save me, I'm running for cover, save me; is it one or the other...". Ryan As the music fades Jacob begins an impassioned interpretation that we can fall away from grace and lose salvation, we should sing this song every day in our devotionals to ensure we are still saved, and we should purchase Fleetwood Mac music for telling the truth. Ryan cuts him off, and turns to the judges:
- Randy: well, you started off a little pitchy but it was alright. You did your thing man.
- Paula: you know Jacob, I've loved you ever since the beginning of this competition. I'll always be one of your biggest fans.
- Simon: I wouldn't have picked that sermon, but you know you've got something that sets you apart from all the Calvinists out there in the crowd. I'm beginning to like you.
Ryan jumps up and defends Calvin and starts into TULIP. Simon scowls and says, "look Ryan; you really look like a daisy up there - does He love you, or does He not"?
The crowd laughs and the show cuts to a commercial showing young attractive people wearing Old Navy clothing driving in Ford automobiles while drinking Coca-Cola.
