Awww, cute lil' sayings

Dove (the chocolate manufacturer, not the soap people) makes these wonderful miniatures that are addictive. I have a friend who is quitting smoking, and she's 'on the patch'. I'm addicted to chocolate, and in like manner I've been securing a Hershey's Kiss to my arm everyday with duct tape. The chocolate is slowly absorbed through my skin and gives me that low level comfort throughout the day.

In my addiction one day I grabbed a few of those little Dove bite sized chocolates to tape to my arm. Unwrapping them I found that they have cute lil' sayings inside. I've been collecting them, following are some of the sayings, and updated with my translation/commentary:

Dove: Make your eyes twinkle.
Dave: Pass the Visine.

Dove: Naughty can be nice.
Dave: Naughty can also get you incarcerated.

Dove: Sit in your yard and watch the leaves fall.
Dave: They come off of the neighbor's tree. When he's not looking I chuck them back into his yard.

Dove: You're allowed to do nothing.
Dave: Talk to my boss.

Dove: The wind tells a story - listen.
Dave: Big deal. So do tornadoes and hurricanes, they just tell them louder.

Dove: Spend the day at a Harvest Festival.
Dave: Booooorrrrrrring.

Dove: Collect 10 different kinds of tree leaves.
Dave: And chuck them into the neighbor's yard also.

Dove: Promise yourself a smile today.
Dave: I don't feel like it.

Dove: Life is a painting, cover the entire canvas.
Dave: Au contraire, life is a highway and I'm gonna ride it all night long.

Dove: Make the most of an Indian Summer day.
Dave: Make the most of a Native American Summer day.

Dove: Look at the reflection of the leaves on your favorite pond.
Dave: I live in Portland, Oregon. There are no reflections because of the green scum.