Seizure Story Number Three - 9/10/2005

Wow! I want to thank you all for your prayers, support, and the anonymous batch of fresh chocolate chip cookies that were left on our porch. Oh wait! That hasn’t happened yet! J Truly, I am blessed and humbled by your friendship. You have all been faithful with emails, phone calls, encouragement, post-church poker games, and even rides. Before my update, I want to mention that my issues pale next to many, even on this distribution there are families that have suffered far more than I have. Just this morning I was talking with my friend who has terminal cancer, chemo is not working, and he has been given a timeframe of little more than a year to live. Yet, he is joking, focused on God and his family, and is loving life (we even shared a laugh that with a terminal illness he is still a better baseball player than I’ll ever be!). Maybe the only reason that I’ll ever have this side of heaven for my seizures is that it has given me compassion and a little bit more understanding for those who are suffering.

Well, there she was – beautiful and elegant, sophisticated and sexy, clean, attractive and alluring. Behind her stood my wife – smiling as she presented me with my birthday present – she had had my 98 Ford Ranger detailed! The black paint sparkled and everything was washed, waxed, polished, shampooed or shining with Armor All. We knew that the next day’s blood test would confirm MY FREEDOM TO DRIVE AGAIN and I would resume it with one nice ride.

Alas, ‘twas not to be! My friend who shall remain anonymous but whose name rhymes with ‘pill heaven’ (kind of sounds like ‘Jill Blevins’, doesn’t it?) gave me a ride to the clinic. It was a sterile, dry place that had – you guessed it – Highlights magazines! Oh, those childhood memories of Goofus and Gallant (Gallant lights the fire in the barbecue for dad, Goofus burns the garage down with dad in it). Well, when my name was called I didn’t want Jill to be bored so I advised the technician that due to legal circumstances surrounding my illness my lawyer needed to accompany me for the test. The lab tech looked at me kind of odd for a moment (perhaps it was indigestion) and then said sure, that would be fine. As the tech stuck me with a horrendously long needle and began to draw a little vial of blood she mentioned that she would need to draw another one. I looked at Jill and said ‘is that permissible’? Jill bit her lip to keep from laughing and managed to choke out that she didn’t have any issues with that. The tech rolled her eyes and I’m not sure but as she withdrew the needle I think she wiggled it just a little bit to teach me a lesson. Ouch.

The next day the doc called and laid down the law – no driving for ANOTHER THREE WEEKS. Sigh, I am probably the only guy you know who is required to take tests to ensure that I have enough drugs in me to drive! And, to dispel the rumors at work I am not applying for medical marijuana (where do people get these ideas?!?). Apparently the Dilantin level needs to be between 10-20, and even after 2 weeks of taking 400 mg a day it’s only at 7. Now, I sprinkle Dilantin on my cereal, put one in my mocha, and jam a few underneath my fingernails – anything to get enough of it into my system.

I had my MRI with contrast and it was cool. They injected me with some kind of metallic fluid (I think the tech said gallanium (sp?) but it might have been decommissioned cooling water from the Hanford nuclear reservation for all I know. Apparently the metallic properties ‘fill in’ some of the gaps between nerve endings temporarily with the net result being my head became a receiver for radio waves. By moving my tongue to different parts of my mouth and pulling simultaneously on my earlobes I could actually scan the FM dial. OK, I’m just making that up! It went really fast and when I got home I logged on to my work email and sent my boss a note. She replied and said “are you done with your brain scan already?” I couldn’t resist the opening and replied “well when you only have half a brain it doesn’t take long”. Badump dump bang!

The good news is that both my MRI and the EEG are absolutely fine. So, there is still no medical explanation for what is happening (Sherry is willing to share her psychological explanation though with anyone who will listen! J). I feel fine, and am getting over the initial side effects from taking the drug. I am a bit discouraged about another 3 weeks of no driving, and being potential tied to a drug for the rest of my life; but I pause now and then and think about the horrors of hurricane Katrina, the difficulties many families face with loved ones in Iraq and Afghanistan and elsewhere, the fact that I have a job and a home and a wife to come home to every night, a wonderful church to find eternal truth and relationships in, and my only conclusion is….I am blessed.