Well, this year started like any other. The race is held in The Dalles which is a WeIrD name for a city, but it's great fun to say it ten times fast with a bunch of friends. It was fairly windy even early in the morning as I set up my transition area and prepped for the swim, and the wind continued to increase in intensity. The Columbia river was whipped into near whitecap conditions, but as we shivered and waited for the starting gun I didn't really give it much thought. Suddenly, a few darts flashed across the sky in my peripheral vision and the pre race chatter was rent by a wall of noise as two F-15's split the sunrise like a dessert spoon into the sugary crust of a creme' brulee. Apparently there was a Patriot Day airshow somewhere in the area and the jets were enroute to entertain.
Exactly 2 minutes later the starting gun sounded, and we were off. The waves were the worst I've ever swum in (makes me wonder what an open water swim in the ocean would be like, never have done that) and although I found a good pace and rythm as I settled into my stroke I was bouncing around in my wetsuit like a plump seal tempting a sea lion. It's not uncommon for me to ingest some water as I'm breathing, but suddenly a squirt of rancid Columbia river water with all it's slime, toxins and heavy metals shot right down my throat into my stomach. Usually I can cough and spit as my head is underwater for the exhaling, but this time the volume was such that I started gagging and retching. For the first time ever in a race I actually had to stop and tread water as I struggled to recover. A safety boat started to make it's way to me, and there was an overwhelming temptation to abandon the race (if I accepted help I would have been DQ'd and that's disqualified not Dairy Queen!) but I waved the boat off and began to swim again. The river was so rough that a police boat was positioned at the last buoy. Nice and reassuring but the boat's exhaust fumes trailed right across the surface of the water into our faces! So now I'm gagging up rancid river water and choking on carbon monoxide as I'm tossed about like so much flotsam. Well, I ended up swimming breaststroke which hurt my time but allowed for survival. The rest of the race was uneventful but I'll never forget that swim!
