I didn't make up that title, but I love it.
It was reported that a vandal was captured in the act of applying graffiti to a church. Now, I'm not suggesting a correlation between Satanism and illiteracy, but one of the phrases stated "Happy Birthday Satin".
Perhaps he (the vandal) truly had an affection for textiles and had intended to also wish cotton & polyester well on their special day before he was apprehended.